


Growing Up Different

by TheLittleMixter



Category: Girl Genius (Webcomic)
Genre: Aromantic Character, Asexual Character, Construct related bigotry, Cultural Gender Indenity, Forced Marriage, Hetrodyne Related nastiness, Historical Inaccuracy, Implied/Referenced Torture, Kidnapping, Menstruation, Mercy Killing, Misgendering, Murder, Other, Slurs, Trans Character, Use of outdated medical terms, Withholding Medication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:08:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 14,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27242458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLittleMixter/pseuds/TheLittleMixter
Summary: In a world where “Heterodynes are always boys” does not mean that the Heterodyne family is any more likely to have children who are Cis Boys than any random family this is Barry’s story.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 15





	1. Her Second Child

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Take Up Your Arms, Sons And Daughters](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16481549) by [gisho](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gisho/pseuds/gisho). 



> And inspired to a lesser extent by “Somebody else’s dream” by Para
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/9121969

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having a daughter is a happy occasion when your the kidnapped wife of The Hetrodyne.

Teodora looked down upon the child she had just given birth to moments ago, and smiled. Her daughter, her darling that would be hers alone, for it was well known that Heterodynes *only* had boys. For while Teodora knew well the terror that could have formed within her, she’d also seen that Mechanicsburg adored children, any children.  
The people of Mechanicsburg measured childhood as stopping when someone was old enough to feel anger and want revenge. After that point, you all but had an enemy combatant, for revenge is a powerful motivating force. Despite this, there was many a townsperson who had opened their homes to an orphan of war. The army often came home in larger numbers than they left, due to the number of small ones in the war torn lands who were yet too young to understand, too small yet to even think of vengeance. Children they were, and children of Mechanicsburg they became. 

It was thanks to their love of children that she didn't have to worry about her daughter being killed for lack of being a Son, like many other places in the world may have done. Even if she couldn't be a Heterodyne, she was as safe here as a babe could be.

Teodora looked up at Saturnus, surprised to see he as well had a beaming smile. “Look at those golden curls..." He cooed down at the child. "I’m such a lucky man to have two sons. What do you think of calling him Barry?" 

Teodora blinked in confusion, unsure that she had heard correctly. “Husband, maybe the midwife did not tell you, but my child is- ” She stopped midsentence as her husband put up a hand. “He’s a Heterodyne, and Heterodynes only have boys. His name is Barry, and he will be a good little brother to William.”

She looked down at her little baby her, her little boy. Joy turning to resignation for even as her husband had given in to her on many thing, living outside the castle raising their children herself, she knew that tone this he would not give her. “Of course Husband Barry will make a good little brother.” After all what harm could it do later when the babe was older when the child started to care then then she’d find a way to fight even if only in secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Positive Commentary and Gentle Concrit appreciated this is my second fic and the most I’ve ever written and I like knowing people are enjoying it.
> 
> I wanted to say that I’m Trans myself and while this chapter was inspired by “Take up your arms, Sons and Daughters” I wrote it as much as a commentary on the arbitrary nature in which western civilisation assigns gender at birth. It’s no better or worse to say that all babies born of a certain lineage are boys than it is to assign gender based on genitals.  
> Everything else that is coming evolved from this and a realisation that another story I was writing existed in the same AU.
> 
> I am looking for a Beta if someone would be willing to do so please say so in the comments.


	2. I’m a boy in my head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When your child says they are happy with who they are believe them.

He knew his Mama was nervous that she had something she wanted to talk about, yesterday she’d made sure he came home early today when Bill had to do special heir stuff with Papa. He was pretty sure she’d wanted to say it for ages. It was in the odd sad longing way she sometimes looked at him and the way sometimes over the last year she said she wanted to talk and then they just ended up playing together or hugging. He was six now as of one week ago this time he’d be the one to ask.  
He found her in her room sitting at her desk face in her hands. Was his Mama crying! He ran over on his short legs as quickly as he could and wrapped his arms around her in a hug.  
“Mama Mama whatever it is it’s okay please don’t be sad please don’t cry Mama it’s all going to be okay.” He said face looking up at her hopefully. She looked at him and he could see she had been crying but a soft smile started on her lips.  
“My brave good child I know it’s going to be okay. But I’m worried you mama did something bad, something that hurts you.” She admitted softly pulling him up onto her lap so that she could hug him back.  
“That’s Not possible, you're my Mama and you’d never hurt me.” He exclaimed, hugging her even closer.  
“Now now listen to me first there’s something I need to tell you and now that your six I can’t wait any longer. Barry when you were born your papa he was the one who named you and he also said that you were a boy.”  
Barry perked up excitedly. “Because I’m a Heterodyne yeah cause if I wasn’t a Heterodyne I’d probably be a girl because of what’s between my legs but because I’m a Heterodyne what’s here” He points at his head, “makes me a boy.”  
Teodora blinked slowly thinking over what Barry had said. “So you do know and you say what’s in your head makes you a boy.”  
Barry nodded eagerly. “Yep I’ve got a boy brain so I’m a boy!”  
Teodora slumped in a mix of sorrow and relief. She had lost any chance of having a daughter but she had a son who was happy being one. She hugged him closer. “I'm so glad I was worried you were a girl and I was going to have to fight Papa about letting you be a girl. That calling you Barry and a boy might be hurting you.”  
“No Mama I’m a boy and I love my name. But but it’s not fair that I'm the youngest, can't I have my own little brother?” That had Teodora smiling and chuckling softly.  
“We will see my darling son, maybe you’ll get a little brother of your own eventually.” Even as she smiled and said that she knew she had no such plans not when there could be no daughters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Positive Commentary and Gentle Concrit appreciated this is my second fic and the most I’ve ever written and I like knowing people are enjoying it.
> 
> I am looking for a Beta if someone would be willing to do so please say so in the comments.


	3. Being Brothers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even the Heterodyne boys fight sometimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This came from one line and ended up much much darker than expected lots of new tags added.

Bill was being a Dick capital letter and all. Barry guessed it was because of something that had happened when Father had made Bill go with him last week on a raid to the Wulfenbach lands but Bill wasn't saying anything and he couldn't find any of the Jägers who had gone with to ask them. There was no way he was asking Father. All the same Bill was being a dick to him and that was not okay. Nothing he said or did was making his brother happy and Bill kept telling him to go away and then following him when he gave in and left.  
Barry was glad he wasn't the Heir that Father didn't expect him to go on raids, though honestly being made to torture and experiment on the prisoners brought back was bad enough, but he also wished that when Bill was in a bad mood he didnt lord ,haha , the fact that he was going to one day been in charge over Barry.  
He knew Bill's mood would improve if they talked about it. He’d listen when Bill talked he’d comfort him and remind Bill of their plan, one day they were going to get out of Mechanigsburg yes Bill would still be Lord they'd have to come back on occasion but Carson could run the town they could go to University and then travel the world, no raiding necessary. Bill wasn't talking though he was grumping and growling and ordering him around and worst very worst punching him.  
Not that they didn't punch each other, they roughhoused all the time and Barry enjoyed it just as much as Bill, but the past few days Bill had taken to just out of the blue punching him in the chest. That fucking hurt right now what with puberty and the fact that his chest was growing again. Even with his vests quilted and boned as they were getting punched there right now was almost enough to make him cry.  
There was Bill again looking just as grumpy. “Are you going to talk now Brother?” The answer was another damned punch and he’d had enough he'd tried being nice not wanting to start a fight when Bill was so clearly upset but this was too much. “If you punch me in the chest one more time I'm going to kick you in the nads.”  
Two seconds later Barry was kicking Bill in the nads and a fight broke out. Not just a little tussle but a full on punching kicking wrestling and screaming obscenities fight someone was bleeding, Barry wasn't sure if it was him or if he’d bitten Bill, it lasted for ages until they were both lying in the dirt bloody bruised and filthy. Not that either of them had tried to truly hurt the other of course they were Jäger trained and could have broken bones but they'd never use that on each other.  
“Getting punched in the chest really hurts right now you know. They're growing again.” Barry grumbled from where he lay next to his brother.  
“Sorry. I just didn't want you to notice to ask. I know I’ve been acting stupid. I did something Barry, on the raid and I I don't know if what I did was awful or nice.” Bill sighed covering his face.  
Barry hummed softly encouragingly.  
“I killed people so they wouldn't be brought back as prisoners.” Bill blurted out Barry turned on the ground wrapping his arms around his older brother.  
“I'm sorry you had to do that. I don't think it was awful or nice but I think it was the best you could do.” Bill shook his head. “Yes yes it was but you can get stronger, sneakier find ways to free them instead and such but for right now you did your best. I I’ve done that before myself a couple of times my knife has ‘slipped’ and nicked an artery so they bleed inside and no one notices till it's too late.” Barry admitted.  
Bill turned as well the two boys crying and hugging each other.  
“No more fighting or secrets okay we are going to be heroes remember.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Positive Commentary and Gentle Concrit appreciated this is my second fic and the most I’ve ever written and I like knowing people are enjoying it.
> 
> I am looking for a Beta if someone would be willing to do so please say so in the comments.


	4. Everything is Normal in Mechangisburg

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Mechanicsburg he's not alone, a boy like him is common enough. That doesn't mean that advice from someone who knows what he's going through isn't welcome.

Charlemagne Greenclaw, the younger, had been staring at him for this entire meeting and it was starting to creep Barry out. He hadn't even been able to listen for the last ten minutes though that wasn't helped by the way his back and chest were aching and had been on and off for the last week or so. Thankfully the meeting was coming to an end and soon he'd be able to vanish after Bill. Or not as Greenclaw called out his name as everyone rose and Carson motioned for him to go over. Barry couldn't help the glare as Greenclaw led him away from everyone else.  
“What do you want?” he snapped only to feel embarrassed at having been so rude.  
Greenclaw chuckled and shook his head “I was right. You're in pain right now your chest and back ache like the blazes and you're either a fool or you have no idea why.”  
Barry blinked. “Ummm I don't know why I’m in pain. Do you? Wait did you poison me?” That had Greenclaw laughing loudly for a moment.  
“I’d have to be a fool myself for that. No No it's your chest boy the way you're moving and trying to stretch out the pain I remember that from when I was your age. You need a new vest. I go to old Mitsof his son Mitko he’s turning into good tailor. You start a good relationship with him now and you make sure you go to him any time your back or chest start hurting. Don't wait till you break a rib like I did.” Barry had opened his mouth but just ended up staring he’d known there were others like him, some of them open about it, and it wasn't like he kept himself a secret he went swimming nude in the lake like all the other boys but he hadn't expected someone to just up and talk about it like that.  
“Oh umm that that would make sense.” He blushed. “I could really end up with a broken rib from my vest justy because it doesn’t fit right?” he sounded doubtful.  
Greenclaw raised an eyebrow. “Think about the pain you're in now you really don't think that would not lead to a broken rib eventually? Having a vest that's the wrong size is dangerous. Another piece of advice if you’re into that sort of thing make sure you take Trusty Maidens Weed unless you want kids. Even if the name is damn awkward. Wait did you get a proper talk and not just the same as your brother?” He looked uncomfortable asking that question.  
Barry was blushing just a bit by this point. “Had one of the Doctors explain everything, at least the technical side of things. I know about preventing pregnancy and that things shouldn't hurt and such.”  
Greenclaw slumped looking relieved. “Well I cant help you with the non technical side of sex, thats not my thing, but for anything else you can come talk to me. I know that others would also happily talk to you, those who are more open about it than I am”  
This whole conversation had been awkward for Barry but he was also grateful. “Thank you for the warning and I'll come back to you if I've got any questions. I’ll see you around.” He smiled and ran back to his brother already coming up with a way to distract him so Will wouldn't ask questions and Barry could head off to the tailor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Positive Commentary and Gentle Concrit appreciated this is my second fic and the most I’ve ever written and I like knowing people are enjoying it.
> 
> I am looking for a Beta if someone would be willing to do so please say so in the comments.


	5. Not so Normal everywhere else

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They'd have you thinking you're not just as Normal as they are. They are wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for fatphobia misgendering sexism transphobia and construct related bigotry and slurs.
> 
> I realised I do prefer this order to the chapters oops I need to not mess around on AO3 very late at night.

Three months they'd been in Beetleburg and things had settled down, most people didn't cross the road to get away from him and his brother anymore. Not that Bill had ever seemed to notice too caught up in the joy of having escaped Mechanicsburg and its expectations. Barry had noticed but he'd acted just as happy, as helpful as friendly as Bill and it had worked. They had friends though Klaus was the closest. That had been a surprise, their first friend a Wulfenbach but then the Wulfenbachs had never feared the Heterodynes. They had teachers who mostly didn't care about their names, only how well they did in class. They had Freedom! Well okay Barry had noticed the Jägers who watched them any time they left the city and some other nights besides but he didn't mind not the way Bill would have if he’d known.  
But that didn't mean everything was simple at least not for Barry getting his hands on a supply of Trusty Maidens Weed without awkward questions wasn't too difficult, with the right lies, but he'd grown again and there was no time for him to just go back home to his tailor.  
Now back home he hadn't cared about people knowing everyone had always known but here he didn't want some curious spark invading his business and asking nosy questions. Which meant going somewhere away from the University.  
He found a small shop away from campus and entered glad to see no fear in the eyes that greeted him though maybe that was also because there was no recognition either. The clothing on display looked simple but well tailored and that was all he wanted.  
“Welcome Welcome to my shop. How can I help you? Hopefully more than just a lost student?”  
Barry grinned at the man. “That I definitely am. I'm here hoping that you make support garments as well as outer?” The tailor frowned for a moment before his face lit up.  
“Ahh a girdle to support your back and nip in your tummy a bit now that would help give you a fine figure.”  
“Ahh not at all it's my chest that needs it. I've got a binding vest on already but I’ve outgrown it and it's starting to ache. I'd go home to my tailor if I could. However Uni classes won't wait for that.” He said with a chuckle even as the tailors confusion grew.  
“I must admit I do not know what sort of garment you talk of but I’ll turn the sign round and you can show me.” The tailor suited actions to words turning the sign locking the door and pulling the blind in which time Barry had undressed down to just his binding vest and undershirt. The Tailor still looked rather confused but game as he came over. “Well I've never seen anything like this but it looks simple enough to make. Show me what it does?”  
Barry smiled and started unlacing it, sighing with relief as the pressure was relieved from his chest that no longer looked flat, or as flat as the chest of a man his weight would, and instead clearly had quite a bit of extra flesh. He looked up to see a look of growing disgust on the other's face. “Your either a woman or a construct” the tailor spat the words, “either way I will not serve a freak like you. Dress yourself and get out Monster.” 

Furry welled up in Barry He’d been called a Monster before, for some reason people seemed more willing to insult him to his face than Bill or the both of them, but a woman no one no one had ever dared suggest he was a woman. He wanted to hit this man hit him until he couldn't say such a horrible lie, couldn't say anything at all. Hit him until he was bloody and broken and respected him for the man he was! 

Shock followed the furry shock at his own thoughts at the way his hands had curled into fists at the way he’d taken a step towards the other man. The tailor had gone white and was almost cowering on the other side of the bench at what he could see in Barry’s face. Barry sighed, deliberately relaxing his posture as he took a step back and started lacing his vest again.  
He was not a Monster nor a Heterodyne like his father and he would not hurt this man no matter how much part of him really wanted to.  
“I’d suggest you think about what you said to me and realise the error of your ways. I’ll not prove myself the monster you think I am.” He finished lacing up the vest and redressed before going over to the door unlocking it and settling his face into a pleasant smile leaving the shop. 

He was glad the shop was near the edge of town. He climbed the wall, got out and found a mindless monster that he could punch until it stopped moving. Cleaned himself up in a river and sat down beside it to think. That was a weakness he’d have to get over. He'd already seen how much easier it was to fight a spark irrational with rage; he couldn't let that happen to him not just from being called a woman. It wasn't as if being a woman was a bad thing even; it just wasn't him. It was weird to realise how deeply he cared after all he was a man who had been raised a man no one had ever doubted that before and yet one word and the rage, the wrongness he had felt being called a woman.  
What would he do now? Though he hoped that wasn't the normal kind of reception hed get from someone who realised he was a man unlike other men outside Mechanicsburg, hmm suddenly he wondered if there was a medical term for men like him, he still didn't feel like just randomly trying another tailor and he did need a new vest.  
Monster hmm that was an idea surely there was a tailor in town who either was or was willing to work with constructs surely such a tailor would be happy enough to do work for him. Though he hoped that not everyone had such opinions of constructs either. Still there would be more constructs than men like him and they would be used to making odd garments. Plan made he headed back into town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Positive Commentary and Gentle Concrit appreciated this is my second fic and the most I’ve ever written and I like knowing people are enjoying it.
> 
> I am looking for a Beta if someone would be willing to do so please say so in the comments.


	6. We weren’t trying to make new parents we swear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Making two people when your orphans has a tendency to go in certain directions.

Its Biology 101 and the extra credit project for the sparks is to build a living, non rabid, construct. They decided on making people and this being a university town it's easy enough to go to the local coroner and pay families for bodies that their loved ones are no longer using. 

Barry is making a man. He knows in the back of his fugue filled mind that Bill is making a woman, would he be able to? Barry thinks if he tried he’d just make another man like himself, and he's reminded his brother so many times to make sure she looks human. After all he knows now how visible constructs get treated it had started with the tailors and after that he'd just watched. Seen how people acted towards them in Beetleburg a massive Univercity town. He doesn't want them creating people who will be treated horrible wherever they go. 

That said he is in full fugue and making someone who no one will ever treat horrible means making a man a full two meters tall with the strength and speed to fight off anyone who would try to hurt him. He’s careful no giant stitches or vastly different skin tones, though he will look as if he's got a perpetual farmers tan, the sheer joy in creating LIFE! 

In making a man who will be so kind, brave, good, loving and caring that no one would mistake this creation of his for something for someone that the old Heterodynes would have made. And if in the fugue state of a fourteen year old orphan making the perfect man means making the perfect father well who can blame him. He will honestly not even realise what he did till many years later. 

He looks at his creation finished lying there on the slab not yet alive and he smiles and turns to his brother who is doing the same looking at the woman on his.  
“He’s going to be called Punch” Barry announces just as Bill says,  
“Her name will be Judy!” and they laugh and give each other thumbs up, it's the first time but they won't even remember it later, before turning back to the levers and bringing them down to give life to their creations. 

Electricity arcs dials whine and Punch lying there on the slab no chains nothing to hold him there, neither of the brothers realise that's only ‘safe’ in Mechanicsburg because of the Jäger guard that would have been in the labs with them, groans and blinks. There's no fear from this newly made person, no anger after all he comes to himself free the only expectation, the only imprinting in his mind to be the very best person he can be, and maybe deep down to love the woman Bill made but no one not Bill not Barry not Punch himself is ever sure if that's true or just something that worries them late at night. He sits up and opens his mouth to speak but only another groan emerges.  
“Its alright there's no hurry your name is Punch and I made you oh I'm Barry behind me is my brother Bill and hopefully if everything goes well his construct she's called Judy. I'm going to give you a medical checkup if that's alright?” Punch looks overwhelmed but he nods and Barry smiles moving in closer and starting a typical post creation medical check. 

Everything looks fine, his pulse is great, he can follow Barry's finger perfectly and all the other little tests you do if you're a caring spark after you've made a construct.  
“Alright time to hear your voice your throat should have calmed down by now.” All that emerges from Punch is another groan and his eyes go wide and worried his mouth opening and closing but all that emerges is grunts and groans. “Oh Oh Damn I must have messed up. No no its too early to tell, maybe it's just difficult using new vocal chords.” Except that's the moment he hears a clear high voice behind him.  
“I feel fine, no pain and moving is easy.” Barry slumps because that had to have been Judy talking and she can talk just fine and he had made a mistake. For all his care making Punch look if not like a typical human still fully human he had messed up somewhere with his voice box.  
“I’m sorry I’m so sorry though I mean if i was going to mess up with something this isn't too bad. We can learn sign language together all four of us actually five probably I bet Klaus will join.” he such an odd mix of elated Punch is alive and just fine and sad he didn't give him a voice the look on Punch’s face is a mix of sadness and gratitude nodding in response.  
“Introductions oh wait clothing first. I've got you a shift and pants we can get you the rest later.” He said handing over the clothes in question and smiling as Punch dressed with ease. 

Keeping an eye on Punch they crossed the room and Barry got his first look at Judy and scowled though he hid it quickly he didn't want Judy to see it and think he had bad feelings about her. Bill had messed up there was no way anyone looking at Judy wouldn't be able to tell she was a construct with her eyes so different from each other. He would mention it to Bill later though. They'd see if it was possible to swap one of her eyes so they matched if she wanted that. 

He instantly loved Judy on talking to her much as he had instantly loved Punch and they quickly bonded over talking music just as Bill and Punch seemed to be managing a half silent but not at all one sided conversation about working out and improvised weaponry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Positive Commentary and Gentle Concrit appreciated this is my second fic and the most I’ve ever written and I like knowing people are enjoying it.
> 
> I am looking for a Beta if someone would be willing to do so please say so in the comments.


	7. Does the world have a name for me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry does some research in the Beetleburg Library.
> 
> Warning  
> I use, in this chapter and from now on, the word Transexual I am aware it now has negative associations but it feels archaic enough to not be out of place in this setting. It will never be used as a slur in my story.

Barry looked around checking that he was alone in the library, the university was on break and three quarters of the students were gone, he and Bill were heading home tomorrow. He was in the medical section and he'd picked out a volume to do with his last assignment just in case even knowing he was being overly paranoid no one would go from seeing what he was researching to assuming it applied to him surely.  
Even so he didn't want anyone to know.

He had ended up with way too many books to hide anyway, a great big pile of books on sexual dimorphism on sexual development, not what he had expected but interesting all the same, on the biology of the sexual organs and loads more. He had quickly found the word Transexual though most of what he was finding spoke of people who had been thought men in reality being women. There was a rather old text speaking of women who crossdressed as men but it claimed that such “deviants” did so to be able to steal men's jobs which had him growling softly after all there was a big difference from wearing pants so a job was easier and being a man. 

Now though making a second search specifically for the word Transexual he found a much better book written by an anonymous Spark Doctor in England who was Transexual himself. This was written with allot more detail and knowledge the doctor spoke of various different cases including some people he had been able to help using surgery to make their bodies more in line with how they wanted to appear. Barry decided he would think about that later though he'd never had any issues with his body just the realisation that outside Mechanicsburg he would not be automatically respected as a man. 

It was odd though most the books seemed to generally agree on a specific definition that someone was Transexual if they had been considered one sex at birth and then later on had realised , or in the books that left a bad taste in his mouth decided, they should not be that sex without any spontanues changes to their body. He had never heard of Intersex before but a throw away mention that it could run in families had him wondering if he should look int to it, even if his body looked like one might expect of a woman. There was no allowance made for the possibility of a man like him; he had never been considered a girl even if he knew most people with bodies like his own were women. 

Even so, even if the books seemed to focus rather a lot on wanting a different body when he did not, Transexual seemed a fair enough term for what he was and it was a term he was willing to use if it ever came up around someone he wanted to talk to rather than just never see again. 

He looked at the book written by the anonymous doctor and slipped it into his bag. He would get it replicated in Mechanicsburg and replace the original when he returned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Positive Commentary and Gentle Concrit appreciated this is my second fic and the most I’ve ever written and I like knowing people are enjoying it.
> 
> I am looking for a Beta if someone would be willing to do so please say so in the comments.


	8. Home for me is not Home for you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry cannot argue with his brother not in Mechanicburg when that could put Bill in danger.

He was home but Barry knew Bill didn't think of this place as home not the way Barry did. Barry could see it in Bill's eyes and to be fair Barry completely understood the razing of the flesh yards and a hospital would put most of the same skills to use so few of the people had worked there would lose their livelihoods. This was different and it wasn't just different because he had been friends with Greenclaw for years this was different because every town had its underground but Mechanicsburg had always been open about it. 

Their merchants were smugglers, their buyers thieves, their airships all pirates. Of course some things had to change, they couldn't have their people killing others for no reason but this wasn't going to work. 

How did Bill expect the town to survive when everything that connected it to the outside world was supposed to be shut down overnight? 

He would not argue though, not in public, not here not when if the townsfolk got it into their heads that he was the better option for Lord someone might try to assassinate Bill again. He would have to do things quietly to make sure that everyone would be able to go underground or legitimise. He knew that doing that through his only trusted contact in the form of Greenclaw would cause its own problems in the internal politics but the people of Mechaniburg who were simple civilians should not suffer shortages just because Bill was unwilling to talk to the court of gears rather than giving blanket orders to stop. 

So he sat there glowering at the audience and let them think what they would, those who knew him would listen to him. And the rest he could talk to later when his brother had calmed down and they had gotten used to the new order of things enough that assasination attempts were unlikely. 

For a brief traitorous moment he wondered how things would have been if he had been the oldest, but he knew he didn't want that, part of why he cared for this town more was because his brother had shielded him somewhat from the very worst this town and their father had to offer. 

Bill stalked off and Barry followed him though he met Charlemagne’ eyes for a moment before he did so. They'd meet tonight at least Barry hoped Charlemagne would be there. 

Charlemagne did come meeting him on the roof of the house that had once been his mothers and now held a young couple. “I’m S” He stopped as Charlemange raised his hand.  
“Don't apologise for your brother or your own actions. I understand why you were silent. We will be fine some will legitimise some will go underground and some will fight this and get weeded out by the rest. He is the lord but he is certainly not the first lord to place orders we have had to work around.”

Barry's shoulders slumped in relief. “We won't be here much there's still years of school left just make sure everything looks perfect when he's around. If there is any way I can help the town contact me and if old Carson will unbend enough from the rules to talk to me rather than Bill tell him I'm willing to help as well. I want Mechanicsburg to survive eventually Bill will realise he wants that too if only because it will belong to Bill’s son one day.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Positive Commentary and Gentle Concrit appreciated this is my second fic and the most I’ve ever written and I like knowing people are enjoying it.
> 
> I am looking for a Beta if someone would be willing to do so please say so in the comments.


	9. A friend finds out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eventually someone who knows him was going to find out. It could not have gone any better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know my writing isnt great but this is the most I've ever written outside role play and Im pretty damn proud of myself. I hope those who are still reading this are enjoying it.

The fight had gone well but for one thing. The damn creatures blood had been some kind of acid steadily eating its way through their clothing even as they continued to fight. So now the fight was over but Bill and Klaus were mostly naked and Barry's undershirt and vest were in the process of giving up the ghost. 

There was no way he was going to be able to hide away until he was dressed again either he could feel it tingling slightly on his skin he was going to have to wash off the acid and the only place around was the same pond that Bill and Klaus were sprinting to. Barry sighed and started making his way over discarding the dissolving remnants of his clothes as he did so. 

He didn't run, these days without his vest that was pretty painful, and by the time he was wading into the water the other two had resurfaced. Bill was splashing Klaus but Klaus was staring at Barry eyes wide. 

“Uh um you your.” Kluas stuttered, which was almost worth it, not really, before Bill turned to face him, his confusion taking a little too long to become realisation.  
“Yes I have breasts and no penis. Im Transexual well sort of, I was raised a boy.” He waited for Klaus to manage to actually form words.  
Klaus shook himself and closed his mouth, his face becoming his normal stoic frown. “You were raised as a boy but you are a man right? It's not just for ease of travel and because of how noble women get treated?”  
Barry’s smile returned trust Klaus to cut straight to the heart of the matter. “No I’m a Man always have been always will be. It's not like the only Heterodyne woman in history did anything like a normal Lady anyway she decided she was going to marry Andronicus and chased him. Though that isn't in any of the stories told anywhere but Mechanicsburg. Half the damn war was her trying to woo him the Heterodyne way not anything of her father and brothers doing.” Klaus leaned forward, curiosity showing slightly in his face.  
“And how would you know that?” Klaus asked.  
“I read her diaries. They are unofficial required reading for any Heterodyne like me. She made sure the castle would suggest it to each of us so we knew being a girl was possible.”  
“What a thing to be able to read. If I ever visit you will let me read them right?”  
Barry laughed of course that was the important thing. “Of course you can my friend if you want I’ll even get a copy printed up for you.”  
That started a rather in depth discussion about the Storm King and his war and about writing bias and wondering what actually was the truth and the exact same kind of wonderful discussion they would normally have with no one caring one bit that they were all naked. 

The discussion about Klaus being a construct happened after they got back out, he had much to the brothers joy forgotten that was something he was hiding, and of course neither Bill nor Barry cared one wit other than to give their condolences for the loss of his brothers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Positive Commentary and Gentle Concrit appreciated this is my second fic and the most I’ve ever written and I like knowing people are enjoying it.
> 
> I am looking for a Beta if someone would be willing to do so please say so in the comments.


	10. Cultural is valid too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry is Transexual for all that he was raised as a man he looked inside himself and knew he was a man. Some men become men in other ways. Those ways are just as real.

It had been a simple matter the village was saved and everyone was celebrating. The celebrations where oddly liberal for such a small village and none of the men where frowning as the women did their best to seduce their party, one lady was doing a pretty good job of seducing both Punch and Judy, he himself had been firm that he wasn’t interested and the lady’s had stopped flirting in his direction so he had spent his time watching the men. Some of whom he had assumed were husbands to the very women currently vying for Klaus and Bill. 

Except slowly he realised something odd, something he hadn’t noticed in people since Mechanicsburg. The exact same tailoring tricks his own clothes used. Almost every single man here seemed to be a man like him. For a moment he wondered if this was a village that for one reason or another deliberately welcomed Transexual men but too many of the men looked like brothers or fathers they had similar enough faces to the women of the village that if that was the case they would have had to start with at least good quarter of them having been born here. 

Everyone was distracted celebrating so he moved next to an older man who like him was keeping to the edges, and Barry was fairly certain watching him back, and lowered his voice. “I noticed that quite a few of the men here are like me.“  
“Ahhh I was wondering if you would notice. I hope you are willing not to tell the rest of your party.” The man looked towards Barry, his eyes pleading.  
“Of course there is no need for them to know. What I want to know is how come there are so many of you here.” That had the other man frowning with confusion.  
“If you are like us how do you not know?” Both of them were looking confused now.  
“Uhhhh I mean I thought I was. Maybe we should go elsewhere for this chat?” Barry called out to Bill telling him not to wait up and to have fun before looking back to the old man. “Should we just step outside or would you like to go somewhere else?” 

He was led out of the hall to one of the nearby homes and let inside they made themselves comfortable in the kitchen and he was offered tea. THe old man introduced himself as Cassimir Barry was the first to go back to the topic.  
“So I will go first. I am a man but I was born in a body that would normally be a woman. My mind is that of a man.” There was no point in using the word Transexual here he doubted anyone had heard it before.  
Cassimir looked intrigued. “I am a man because I swore to never touch a man sexually to never have children. My family had no men and needed a Man so now I am one. Thats how it is with all the others the men we used to have were called to war by the Spark lord five years ago and neither he nor they came back from the war.”  
Barry's eyes filled with sorrow but he saw in the others eyes that condolences and voicing his sorrow would be out of place in this conversation. “You swore a vow you say and that made you a man. It was not something you would have been without it?”  
Cassimir shook his head. “No its that vow that made me such though I am happy being a man. I have a young wife I love very much who is in the hall right now trying to see if we can get ourselves a child.”  
Barry eyes widened that explained so much, the husband and wife pairs he noticed were real but if these husbands wanted children they had to send their wives elsewhere and a party moving through who would likely never be back was a good way to possibly find sires for children. “Oh well thank goodness I don't have to worry about jealous young men angry their sweethearts slept with Klaus or Bill again.” He said with a chuckle.  
“What about the others since you yourself are happy?”  
Cassimir smiled. “I know it's the same with the others, only those swore as would be happy. Some of us are even relieved to have been able to marry women. I myself would have never married otherwise.”  
That had Barry smiling with relief. “Good. I am glad I found myself in this village. For all the differences between us. If things go badly again here send word to us and if things go even worse know that all your men and their families would be welcome in Mechanicsburg. Tell them that if they go there seek an audience with Charlemagne Greenclaw and he will find you places and jobs. Though I dearly hope that's never needed”  
Cassimir nodded. “All the same I will pass it along. We are well aware that many outsiders would not understand or accept who we are.’  
“Exactly and while there are no men like you in Mechanicsburg there are plenty of men like me.” 

They talked late into the night and in the morning Barry was careful to note which lady Bill had come back to the Hall with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some people who read this may recognise that I'm talking about the Balkan Cultural gender known in english as Sworn Virgins and in Albanian as burrnesha.  
> I did play around a bit as I can find no suggestion that these men were able to marry women indeed it seems as if the swearing of celibacy included not having sex with or loving women. 
> 
> I would suggest anyone with further interest start at this article.  
> https://feminist.krytyka.com/en/articles/heavy-word-discourses-albanian-sworn-virgins  
> And to remember to listen to the voices of those people a cultural practice belongs to over any outsider understanding of a topic. 
> 
> As for whether or not I'm suggesting Agatha might have an older illegitimate sibling I don't know myself at this point. If she does they would be almost twenty years older than her and not a spark.
> 
> Positive Commentary and Gentle Concrit appreciated this is my second fic and the most I’ve ever written and I like knowing people are enjoying it.
> 
> I am looking for a Beta if someone would be willing to do so please say so in the comments.


	11. Love and Children

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He Knows who he loves and might want a child with one day. That doesnt mean he wants sex or romance.

Ever since the village he had been thinking about children he had no plans for children Now, he was young and wanted to keep adventuring, but the idea of children wasn't something he had thought about much before. He knew if he wanted kids he would want them to be genetically his but he wasn't so certain about the idea of carrying a child to term. Ugh he really hoped he wouldn't end up having to go to the Mongfishes for help. The current patriarch was evil even if he was brilliant with biology. Maybe he would carry just to prevent having another spark involved. 

Though honestly he wasn't so sure Mechanicsburg was not isolated in the way it had been when he was growing up. Now tourists traipsed through it and the sick, the injured and the elderly went to seek healing in the hospital. Having boys would be alright if they were like Bill but these days a boy like himself wouldn't be able to grow up openly in Mechanicsburg. 

That had him wondering about other things after all he had been raised a man and yes now he very clearly was one but so were all the men of that village and they hadn't been men before they swore an oath. Would he have even been a man himself if he hadn't been raised into it? Was he a man because he had been raised a man rather than something inate to himself the way the transexual men he had read about were?  
He would never know and maybe the thought bugged him but he was happy in himself, happy being a man eventually after one too many nights without sleep he decided it didn't matter. It would only ever matter if he had a child who might be like him. 

Honestly though it wasn't just children he was thinking about even if his other thoughts led on from children. He was thinking about conception and sex and love. He knew he loved he even knew who he loved, had for years now. That didnt mean he wanted sex and he wasnt enirely sure if he wanted to tell the man he loved that he loved him when he wanted neither sex nor marriage nor even romance. 

He was happy loving him and adventuring together and being friends.

In the end though he decided he wanted Klaus to know. He trusted the other and now that he had let himself truly think about it it felt like a lie of omission not to tell him of his love or his thought that maybe one day they could have a child together. After all the latter was a big thing, something he should give Klaus time to think about to work out if he was willing to have a child who would only ever be known as a Heterodyne.  
For Barry did not want people outside Mechanicsburg to know of himself and so pretending he had sired a bastard or that the mother had died in childbirth were the best routes to take. Hmm probably the latter so that the child could have legitimacy in the rest of the world. 

Finally he gained the courage on a day when only the oldest of their party was around, just himself Bill Klaus Punch and Judy, and aside from himself and Klaus the rest were off doing something non dangerous, he hoped. 

“Klaus theres something I need to tell you. First of all I don't think I want anything to change but I need you to know I have been in love with you for years.” The expression that got from Klaus would have made him laugh under any other circumstances he had never seen him look so startled before.  
“You have been in love with me for years. How many years?” That got a chuckle and a smile from Barry.  
“Honestly I am not sure but certainly since before you found out about me.” Klaus frowned.  
“And you are telling me now because?  
“Because it started to feel like I was lying by omission. Also because while I am happy with how things are I have something I want you to think about for the future. If I was to one day have children I would do so in Mechanicsburg where I could quietly pretend to marry someone and once I had given birth announce that she had died in childbirth. However if you were willing I would prefer your genetic material to sire the child.”  
Klaus gaped for the second time in a single conversation before closing his mouth and slowly thinking it over.  
“Just my genetic material? You dont want to have sex and you wouldnt want rather I wouldnt be able to acknowledge the child”  
“Exactly.” Klaus nodded.  
“Your right this is something I would have to think about. Especially if this child would be my oldest.”

The conversation drifted to talking about the best way to guarantee a child and about the fact that the typical noble perception of constructs, and what counted as such, and non humans made conceiving a child harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hadnt planned this at all when I started but Barry kept insisting that he loved Klaus so I gave in.
> 
> Positive Commentary and Gentle Concrit appreciated this is my second fic and the most I’ve ever written and I like knowing people are enjoying it.
> 
> I am looking for a Beta if someone would be willing to do so please say so in the comments.


	12. The Beautiful Viper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He realised he would rather Lucrezia an enemy than a friend. At least then he could fight her.

Barry was used to the way whatever spark they had defeated ended up being dragged along, if they hadn't wound up dead or managed to escape. Even if sometimes it was very foolish, the closest they had come to dying had been from one such spark. It was still something he loved about Bill, though Barry often wondered why the one group Bill couldn't seem to forgive like that were the Jägers and they alone were left to rot in Mechanicsburg. 

Even so he didn't like Lucrezia. Most of the sparks they dragged along wound up getting killed, by those they fought, or actually changing for the good but to Barry she appeared calculated she wanted to be here, though she was just as likely to betray her father to them as them to her father. 

Still he tried to convince himself it was just the way she looked at Bill and Klaus and the fact that he could tell Bill was slowly getting attached for all that he protested that no feelings were involved and he didn't mind her sleeping with Klaus as well, the latter of which was likely even somewhat true. 

She was sleeping with the man he had loved for more than ten years after all and everyone said jealousy was normal under such circumstances. Even though he had no intention of sleeping with Klaus himself well beyond the puppy piles the entire group sometimes ended up in after a fight somewhere in the wilderness or when there were not enough beds. 

But part of him knew there was more to it then that but what could he do? He had tried speaking to Bill, tried pointing out the many times she had betrayed them over the last few years and talking to Klaus. Well Klaus might even stop sleeping with her but what would that accomplish?

She was so personable even Punch and Judy thought him paranoid when he warned them to keep an eye on her. He worried that maybe the world was right that this was jealousy, at seeing someone that his brother was starting to care more about than him, at seeing a woman have a relationship with Klaus that he would never have for Klaus did care for her even if Barry didn't think he loved her the way his brother did. 

No no he wasn't wrong she had noticed the way he watched her and sometimes when no one else was around she would watch him back that same cold calculating glint that had been in her eyes when they first met across the battlefield.

He was stuck. Stuck living in the semi constant presence of a viper. 

He did the only thing he could do in dragging the party further and further afield since Lucrezia tended to be around more if they were close to her father's lands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Positive Commentary and Gentle Concrit appreciated this is my second fic and the most I’ve ever written and I like knowing people are enjoying it.
> 
> I am looking for a Beta if someone would be willing to do so please say so in the comments.


	13. Why can no one else see?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ((Honestly I feel like there is a chapter missing between the last one and this but cannot think of anything.))
> 
> Klaus finding out had been one thing and honestly he had been glad Klaus had known most of their time together but this was another thing altogether.

Barry woke in pain, a pain he was well used to for all that it seemed to be far more painful than his cramps would usually be. To make things worse this was almost two weeks early and he didn't have supplies with him since he had used the last of the “spare” bandages for their purpose as actual bandages just a few days ago. 

He had no idea what was going on after all he had been drinking his Trusty Maidens Weed like clockwork every morning and this kind of thing should only be happening if he hadn't been. Much as it might seem like a negative side effect, making you bleed as soon as one came off it was a deliberate property the original creator had done so that there was no way for someone to switch someone's tea out to get them pregnant without them noticing. 

Everyone else seemed to be awake and having breakfast around the fire. He'd have to go off into the bushes, use a pair of socks or something until they could get to the nearest town. Why oh why did this have to happen when Lucrezia was with them everyone else knew about him already. 

He unrolled his bedding only to gasp in shock drawing everyone's eyes to him. There was no chance of him being able to sneak off his thighs were red with blood having leaked through his pants and made a mess of his bedding. Bill gasped quickly coming towards him even as Barry pulled his bedding closed once more. 

“What whats wrong did you get injured?” Gasped Lucrezia before blushing bright red and looking away as if he hadn't already been wearing clothes in any case. 

Barry opened his mouth to respond before closing it again silently he didn't know what to say. 

“Tell her brother everyone else knows and she will keep your secret.” Bill said as he squatted down next to him. “It's never been like this before though right? I think I would have noticed?” He continued, his cheeks slightly pinked. 

Barry glared at Bill but his brother didn't notice and really other than just saying none of your business and letting her guess what could he do? “Your right it's never been this bad and the pain is ahh worse too I'd say the worst of Dr Verdigees pain machine.” That had Bill looking at him in shock but then it was normally the upper range anyway. “But I'm also on my second week since the last one. This should not be happening now.” He sighed and looked at Punch and Judy who both shrugged and Klaus who nodded him on encouragingly.  
“Very well since I either explain or let you guess wild theories. I'm having my period. My body is not that of a typical man and I have a period once a month same as women do.” Lucrezia's eyes went artfully wide, the kind of shock that Barry was damn certain she was putting on and oh sard he was starting to get suspicious. 

“Wait but then when you said it was two weeeks and it's your period Oh No. This is all my fault.” And she promptly broke down into tears which had Klaus going to her side to hold her Bill going to her other side both of them murmuring that surely she could not be to blame.

“No No it is my fault. I didn't know I just thought it was because it's easy to get and relaxing. I ran out of my own supply and swapped yours for common mint rather than admit that I had run out. I haven't seen any _Maidens _weed in weeks.” Lucrezia said between big sobs that looked and sounded so perfectly apologetic and embarrassed. Except for the odd note in her voice when she has called it Maidens weed. No Barry didn't believe it for a moment. Lucrezia had planned this; he had no idea how she had known but she had and now she had embarrassed him in front of everyone and gotten proof.__

__He wondered for a moment if the extra pain was also something she had deliberately caused and decided it unlikely but that he would test the tea he had been given for poison just in case.  
He wants to accuse her but looking at the two men holding her and the way they looked at him he knew that would not get him anywhere._ _

__“It's alright you couldn't have known. The only people who know are the rest of use here.” A great big lie but honestly it sometimes felt as if Bill had selectively forgotten their childhood he doubted his brother would call him on it. This way at least she hopefully wouldn't tell anyone since if it came out she would be the only possible person to blame._ _

__She perked up slightly, still looking contrite but no longer sobbing. “If there is any way for me to help with all the trouble I've caused.” She said with something that was supposed to sound hopeful in her voice and damnit he was going to have to accept the offer or seem a fool._ _

__“I normally use bandages but I've run out and this time is especially bad for the bleeding. Would you be able to spare some of your own padding until we reach Beetleburg tomorrow?”_ _

__The perfect opening for her and she of course graciously agreed though Barry saw the hint of a smirk cross her face as her two lovers thanked her. He changed into spare clothing and borrowing padding from her; they all continued their day even if for him it was long and painful not that he let it show, beyond that one mention of the pain machine. The next three days were hellish for him but then the cramps stopped and a few days later the bleeding and by that point he was back on the Trusty Weed none of them spoke of it again._ _

__Barry however would always remember even after he proved to himself that it had been as she said just mint that he had been drinking._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Positive Commentary and Gentle Concrit appreciated this is my second fic and the most I’ve ever written and I like knowing people are enjoying it.
> 
> I am looking for a Beta if someone would be willing to do so please say so in the comments.


	14. A Doctor I can trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Europa is not the forefront of all knowledge Dr Sun makes Barry aware of possibilities he has never heard about before.

The trip back with Dr Sun had been an enjoyable one, for all that the rest of them felt a bit bad about their friendship with him meaning that in the end he had needed to flee with them before it was death rather than exile. Barry and Klaus had enjoyed talking about biology in great detail with their new friend and everyone else enjoyed the increased ease at which any injury or illness was fixed. 

Though now the party was split up Klaus went to go visit home, Punch and Judy off for a holiday and Bill ran off to go spend time with Lucrezia. It was just Barry taking the last couple of days of the trip back to Mechanigsburg with Dr Sun. He had been thinking about this for weeks but now that it was just the two of them he decided to open up. Or at least see if it was viable.

“I just realised I never asked how strong are the oaths around Doctor Patient confidentiality back home?” Dr Sun looked at him, obviously guessing that there was a reason for his question even with how he'd tried to make it sound like random curiosity. 

“I would never reveal someone's medical secrets unless it was necessary to save their life.”  
It wasn't an answer to the question he had spoken out loud but it was the answer he needed.  
“Is this to do with the fact that you drink Trusty Maidens Weed and spend about three days a month in terrible pain?”

Barry gaped at him. “You ahh but how? No one else has even noticed the pain.” He blurted out in surprise.  
“You are very good at hiding it, yes but not perfect. I am a doctor. I've noticed it each month regular as clockwork and yet you did not come to me so I started watching to see if I could work out why you would not tell a Doctor about a regular pain and then it was easy enough to put the two things together.”

“I'm still a Man no matter what my body is like. This is not just so I can adventure.” He said firmly surprised to see the other shrug. “I must admit I'm a little surprised at your easy acceptance.”

“It's not the same but I can easily accept you are a man just as the Eunuchs of the palace are men. It is not your body that makes you a man but your spiritual self. I would guess that much like them you are careful with your hmm I do not know the word the thing in your body that increases sexual desire and muscle growth?” 

That had Barry blinking in confusion. “Umm I don't actually know what you're talking about.” He admitted with a frown that was quickly joined by Dr Suns.

“Your gāo tóng the medical and physical embodiment of your Yang energy?” Dr Sun was clearly rather confused and annoyed at not having the word for it in any of the languages they shared. “Beyond the Maidens Weed there is something else in the tea you drink? Something to change your shape to make your voice as deep as it is?”

Barry shook his head why would there be anything else in his tea. “No my voice is just many years of practice as I grew up and I take nothing to change the shape of my body. I didn't know that was possible though I do know there is a doctor in England who if you can find him does Surgeries to make the bodies of people like me more in line with what they want. Though I've never been interested in that.” 

“Ah hmm maybe it is not something well known here, after all I do not think Europa has many Eunuchs. although it can also have many benefits for men who previously could not get hard or have children and it would alter the shape of your body somewhat, I think, as well as make putting on muscle easier. It would definitely lower your voice; it produces many of the effects of a boy becoming a man in someone who has not already gone through such.” 

Barry's eyes lit up the thought of bulking out a bit of no longer hiding the shape of his shoulders and his voice going deeper still. “Is it hard to make this substance? You are right that if this is a choice I have it is one I would very much want to follow.”

DR Sun smiled. “It is easy enough but for a while when you first go onto it there will have to be many tests you would have to be able to return home regularly for them and to pick up more of the substance. Going off it quickly can have bad side effects with your mood and appetite.” 

“How easy easy enough that I could learn to make it myself for once I am settled on it and no longer need the tests.” Dr Sun looked at him grinning.

“I do not see why not you are a strong spark even if medicine is not your field of interest.” 

“Then Yes yes very much I will explain to the others why I cannot go far. Klaus Bill and Punch and Judy know and I trust them but I will have to come up with a reason they can tell others for my absence. Oh I wonder how would you like to go to Berlin to see if we can find the specialist? I will show you his book when we get to Mechanicsburg. I know you enjoy the weird aspects of medicine and I'm certain he would love to hear all about what you know.”

“That would be agreeable I do want to get to see some of Euopa not just settle down in Mechanicsburg and never leave again. Which I am sure will happen if as you say I will quickly find myself running the hospital once I start there.”

They planned until the road started to get busy Barry was so excited this was going to be life altering and for the better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not a doctor nor do I speak Mandarin or any other form of Chinese. My mistakes are my own.
> 
> The doctor from chapter seven was changed from being in Berlin to being in England this is because I plan to use a real historical figure next chapter which was not my original plan.


	15. Hormones and James Barry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Going on testosterone and meeting the surgeon who has made his life's work helping trans people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I've really kept of the historical figure James Barry is the fact that he is a trans man and a surgeon.

Things turned out not to be as simple as Barry had expected unlike Paris which had allowed them to enter while being strictly monitored Albia at first outright refused to let him in. He settled back into Mechanicsburg, while letters went back and forth, starting on the powder that he now drank each morning in his tea. 

The tests were many on his blood on his urine, apparently some people found the most common powder very damaging to their liver, and since both him and Dr Sun were Curios Sparks on everything else they could think of to measure. 

The first change he noticed was his libido something he had never really noticed before and about which he complained to Dr Sun at length. It was made worse by the growth that happened between his legs being painful and sensitive by turn. Dr Sun reminded him that he had been warned that he would likely have all the effects of puberty and that even Dr Sun wasn't completely certain what would happen.

Then the changes he had been looking forwards to happened his voice started deepening, and on occasion cracking which was rather embarrassing, and as he had started a work out to hasten the effect on his muscles he bulked up with ease and quickness he had never had before. His face was slower to change and in all honesty he was glad for that it meant that he got used to his new face as it changed. 

It was helpful though to not be alone in this he had told Greenclaw of what he was doing and the other had joined him. As well from things they had said he guessed that there were others around Mechanicsburg taking this opportunity. 

He had decided to go with an excuse close to the truth that Dr Sun had realised there was an imbalance in his body and it was after all these years being fixed even so the changes were visually subtle enough and slow enough that he got few remarks. His body felt like his and yes it had always felt that way but now it somehow felt more so. 

It was months before Albia relented he could enter with Dr Sun so long as it was only him and not his brother making the journey. 

The journey there was largely uneventful, at least as far as went for a journey Barry was on, and they arrived by submarine. It was a breathtaking sight and a momentous occasion since he was the first Heterodyne to step foot on English soil since it had sunk below the waves. 

They had not risked sending letters since the man who had written the book was clearly private so after their formal introduction to Albia they started their search. The first week seemed like fruitless searching talking to various people trying to both search for the spark and not out him for doing the work he did. After all they knew very little about him that they could admit other than that he was a Doctor, a Spark and a Construct and did surgeries of a private nature. 

Finally they were sent in the direction of a Dr James Barry who they quickly found out was well known for his careful handling and amazing work with regard to the issues women had around pregnancy and birth as well as male fertility. Indeed it was then that Barry recognised him as the man acknowledged as having brought the operation known as the Cesarean section back to Europa from south africa. 

It was two weeks after arrival that they had an appointment to see him and Barry was surprised to realise he was anxious with nerves even if they did not know that this was indeed the right man. After all the only way to find out was to ask him for doctor patient confidentiality and then admit to his own nature hoping if this was not the right man he would still keep his secrets. 

Barry and Dr Sun were ushered into Dr Barry’s waiting room by a woman who was a surprising two meters in height but either she was one of the most well made constructs either of them had seen or she was quite human. The wait wasn't long and soon they were welcomed into Dr Barry's office by the man himself as small as his secretary was tall he looked only about one and a half meters tall stern with fine features.

“I must admit I have been very curious since I realised that Barry Heterodyne had made an appointment to see me. You are not the kind of person I would normally see. Even more curious that you have brought your own doctor with you. Before we get underway I think it would be simpler all round if you call me James I do not think you will mind since you yourself have a preference for your first name.”

That had Barry grinning with relief. “Your right James makes things much easier and this is Dr Sun. This entire conversation is covered by doctor patient confidentiality yes?”

James nodded looking even more curious to be so bluntly asked. “Of course whatever you tell me no one else will hear or read I have my own private sypher in fact.” 

“I never know exactly how to say this no matter how many times it comes up.” Barry said with a frown. “It always feels so awkward. My body is such that had I been born anyone else I would have been announced as a girl.” 

Jame’s eyes widened in genuine surprise before he leaned forward. “So you were looking for me. You found a copy of one of my books the last page must have been missing for you not to use the contact routes I put in them.” 

Barry slumped with relief. “Oh thank goodness my guts have been full of butterflies at the thought of admitting that and finding out it was the wrong doctor. Wait looking for you does that mean some of the people we asked reported back about our search?” 

James nodded. “Yes indeed. So the way you said that does it mean you were raised as a boy from birth?”

“I was. My father recognised me as a boy and I have always thought of myself as a man so it worked out well.”

“Interesting I have never had anyone come to me who was raised as you were. I Must admit much of what is going through my head right now is pure curiosity and not such information as I actually need to know. Did you come to me to meet another man like yourself or because you wanted to seek out my surgeries? I am guessing the latter since you brought your own doctor.” 

Barry shrugged. “I did not come seeking surgery as I still hope to have at least one child.” That had James smiling in response.

“No longer an issue, I should finish and spread the new book, since the last one I have found a way to preserve both eggs and sperm when needed and fertilizing an egg and implanting it into a woman who is willing to be surrogate bearer should be within the capabilities of yourself or Dr Sun so you would not even need to come back for that.”

That had Barry blinking in surprise. He had come here to learn more and because he wanted to see if Dr Sun would be allowed to learn the techniques and exchange his own knowledge he had not truly had any expectations of getting surgery himself, not when he thought of having a child and had never paid enough attention to his groin to truly care about it one way or another. “And there's no time limit on this preservation?”

James frowned. “The longest I have had eggs preserved and implanted successfully is 6 years but it's also the longest afterwards anyone has asked so far. I've only had the technique for seven years.”

“In six years I would likely be having issues with conception in any case. However even with that I think I would rather carry a child myself. No one outside Mechanicsburg would question a whirlwind romance marriage and me retreating to spend all my time with my wife in the castle until I emerge quietly grieving with a child and no wife. Though I must admit I would not say no to trying out preserving my eggs especially since it sounds like it would make external fertilisation possible.” 

“If medical fertilisation is something that interests you then yes this would be a very good way to guarantee fertilisation you can pick exactly when you want to be pregnant. I would be quite happy to help with that. But then ahh of course the Mechanicsburg Hospital you hope that I am willing to teach Dr Sun my techniques so that he is able to perform them for others. Your hospital with the history that Mechanicsburg has would not have to be so quiet about what your doctors are willing to do for a patient seeking such.”

Dr Sun smiled for the first time entering the conversation. “That was exactly my thought between Mechanicsburg being what it is and playing a little on my foreignness. I do not care if others in Europe would question why I am willing to perform such operations. I also have some experience with operations that affect the genitals as one of the physicians of the palace I was called on on occasion to perform castrations and to fix ones that had been botched.” 

“Don't forget to explain what we are already doing. It may be of interest to James even if he is primarily a surgeon.” Barry said leaning back so as to listen as the two doctors started their in depth discussion of things he only understood at a very simple level. Though he still interjected on occasion after all he was the one undergoing the effects of testosterone. 

A week later Barry was leaving Dr Sun behind to continue his learning taking with him a small spark work container with his own eggs in it and a large package of books to drop off in various libraries along the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am aware that carrying a child to term while on testosterone is not advisable but they don't know that kind of thing yet and as most of you have probably guessed it will not get to that point.


	16. A Decision made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The possibility of surgery made Barry realise what he really wanted was a child.

Going to England had settled things in his mind he definitely wanted a child and he definitely wanted a child with Klaus. It was just a matter of speaking to him and if Klaus agreed working out when they would do it. Klaus had never brought it up again one way or another even if they had grown closer after that conversation.

Of course when Barry got back to Mechanicsburg none of the group was there but enough rumours were that it only took him a couple of weeks to catch up to the airship. Thankfully it seemed like they were actually managing a break from all the heroics and Barry took the opportunity to speak with Klaus.

Klaus gave him a worried look when they finally got somewhere private. “What is it? Has something gone wrong with the medication you are on?” Klaus asked only to sigh in relief as Barry shook his head.

“Not at all I am doing very well. Better even that Dr Sun expected I have already had to start shaving.” Barry said with a grin. “No, I finally wanted to bring up our long ago conversation again. To find out if you were okay with the idea of providing the sperm to make my child.”

That had Klaus freezing for a moment before sitting down heavily. “I've thought about it a lot and I have only one worry. That I would want to acknowledge the child if I do not manage a marriage and child with another. Your conversation made me think and while as you well know I do enjoy sex I realised I have never felt love in the way others speak of. I would only marry a woman who understands this and is willing to marry me anyway but I also cannot marry someone who would only marry me to use me.” 

“Oh that's why things got more right? because you realized you enjoyed my company in much the same way I do yours?” 

Klaus nodded. “Exactly if it were not for the nonsense of society and how it would treat us I would ask to marry you since I think you are likely the person I will care most for aside from any children I might have.” 

Barry smiled with unexpected wistfulness. “Maybe one day there will be a world where I could have married you and not been called a woman for having your child. I understand your wish to be able to have the option of acknowledging my child but it's not truly possible. I will of course make you Guardian to our child so that it is understandable that you spend so much time in their life.” 

Klaus sighed but nodded. “You will tell the child when they are old enough to keep a secret?”

Barry laughed “Of course I would not keep that from them they will know plenty of other secrets as a Heterodyne one more won't make much difference.”

“Good then I have decided that yes I will help you have a child. I will also help in any way I can in creating and upholding the story you plan to tell. I am guessing you hope to do this fairly soon Bill spoke a few weeks ago of maybe finally settling down at least somewhat. Having Bill in Mechanicsburg would distract a little from you being there but not in public much.” 

“Yes soon especially since even with sparky help having a child becomes more difficult with..” 

That was of course when something shot their engines and they proceeded to crash out of the sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like this and the next chapter are sadly short ones again hopefully I can make the last one properly long.


	17. Unexpected Betrayal of the Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All plans of a happy future turn to ashes when Klaus leaves and never returns.

Things had been hectic a few days of no time to do anything but fight the spark and his creations hide from the same or try and save the innocents caught in the middle. They won as they always managed to do and with the only casualty being the evil spark in question. That however was enough to send Bill off in a huff and Barry not wanting his brother to be alone when he was in this kind of mood had followed him. After all it shouldn't be too hard to meet up with the others later. 

Except things were not that simple they wouldn't be truly simple ever again not that Barry knew that then. For when the others caught up with them it was just Adam Lilith and Lucrezia. Klaus was not with them and had not been with them in days. 

Lucrezia tearfully explained how she had told Klaus about Bill’s proposal, which must have been happening at the exact same moment Barry had been talking to Klaus, and rather than congratulating her had told her that she was making a terrible mistake that she would never be happy with Bill and after a fight she tearfully refused to retell had left without a word on where he planned to go.

Barry was of course suspicious after all he knew that Klaus was not in love with her, Klaus had just admitted that he did not think he could be in love with anyone, even so her voice rang with truth in a way that he was not used to it doing so, for all the others called her a consummate actress he had always been able to tell but now now she did not seem to be lying. 

Had Klaus loved her after all and simply not realised until he had no choice but to realise? Or was it not Lucrezia planning to marry Bill at all that had driven him away had Klaus decided in the end that being asked to secretly father a child not being able to ever acknowledge them was too much for him in face of someone else's oncoming marriage and left over that? 

He told Bill he was going back that he wanted to find Klaus and talk him down and convince him that it was not worth just leaving over. When Lucrezia thanked him Barry could once more tell she did not mean it and that had him only more convinced she had spoken the truth at least as much as she knew it. 

At first Barry had been hopeful that he would find Klaus talk to him, find out what was wrong and solve it even if it meant cancelling his plans for children it would be well worth it to have his friend back again. However by the time he got back to where they had parted ways there was no trace of Klaus and as time passed day after day of searching in wider and wider circles hope turned to despair turned to anger. 

Why couldn't Klaus have at least come and talked to him why vanish like that? All traces of him so thoroughly removed that Barry could not find any evidence that he had even been there. Nor had he gone home to Wulfenbach Castle and Barry ended up being the one who had to tell them the bad news of their son having vanished.

Searching on his own, he had told the others not to come to prepare for the wedding because he thought that on his own he had a better chance of convincing Klaus, had given him too much time to think, heart heavy mind clouded despair turning to anger turning to feelings of betrayal. No matter what Klaus should have come and found him should have told him he was leaving even if he still went so that Barry was not left here uncertain hurt and worried. Barry convinces himself that Klaus only needs time to think after all while normally Klaus would have returned home this is not the first time that the other has left to spend time away from the brothers. 

He returns to Mechanicsburg but it doesn't quite feel like home anymore not when he had planned for it to truly be a home, he wonders for a moment if he should find someone else to have a child with but the thought feels like his heart breaking anew and so he hides the spark work device with his eggs in the back of his lab. Not when it is all but overrun by tourists but Bill seems to like it more this way, loving the friendly awed attention of the tourists in a way he had never enjoyed the awed attention of the townsfolk as a child, so Barry never says anything. 

Time passes and Barry helps with the plans for the wedding. He had been too worried at the time about Klaus and now well maybe it had always been too late to convince Bill not to marry Lucrezia. Bill at least is ecstatically happy and Lucrezia does truly seem to love him back. He never bothers to tell either of them of his own ruined plans. 

More and more Barry goes off to do heroics on his own as well as the normal excursions with Bill, but it doesn't feel the same anymore. Nothing does not when six months and then a year passes, not when he stands alone beside his brother at his marriage to a woman Barry will never trust. Not when Bill announces that he is going to have a child, Bill doesn't even notice that the town crier announces that he is going to have a son Barry does though. 

Certainly not when Bill tells him that if, if if is it truly if?, the child is a boy. He will name him Klaus Barry for the two best men he knows. That night Barry finds himself crying in his room he hadn't let himself cry but now finally he cries because Klaus is gone and not coming back and in a few months there will be, might be, a little boy named for himself and the man he had loved. 

He knows it's maybe not accurate that Klaus betrayed him but it feels like it all the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This turned out a bit longer than I thought it was going to yay!
> 
> Something went weird with AO3 and it posted this chapter twice sorry if those of you who are subscribed get two emails.


	18. Choosing to make life easier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A child to protect a decision made.

He looked down at the small child asleep in his arms; they were finally far enough away from the Geisterdamen that they could rest but even now he couldn't manage to sleep his mind plagued by all the things he had spent so much time not thinking about. 

One of them he could no longer put off. 

He remembered Bill's face. “Save her Save Agatha.” He knew Bill had chosen names before Klaus Barry had been born and Agatha, for the goodness of their mother even if they would not directly call her Teodora, had been what they had chosen for if that first child had been a girl. 

In face of Bill and Lucrezias simple belief he had never mentioned the possibility that they might not be able to have a girl, that maybe they could only have a boy or a boy like him. The first time things had been easy, for a given value thereof, Klaus Barry had been a boy. The kind of boy you found in half the cradles of Europa. Now things were far less simple.

The child in his arms had been named by their father Agatha as almost his last action and yet Barry was still not certain that, Euphrosynia aside, a Heterodyne could be a girl. He had never been able to be certain for himself was he a boy simply because he had been raised to be one or would he have been a boy no matter how he had been raised and being raised a boy simply made things easier. 

To make things more complicated he could not simply retreat to Mechanicsburg close the gates and let the child grow old enough to decide for themselves, as he had in fact been planning. Inside Mechanicsburg no one would have cared if a child named Agatha was a boy or a girl especially since they would have been The Heterodyne. 

Mechanicsburg was closed to them with Klaus betraying them to the Other, and that hurt that hurt worse than the personal betrayal of years earlier, taking over Europa . Making it worse Mechanicsburg had joined Pax Wulfenbachia of its own accord and the Jägers had left to go fight for Klaus. Oh how that panged that Klaus had left him and then betrayed them and now to return to find that the Town the Jägers had abandoned them for Klaus. 

The betrayal of Klaus, and of the town to Klaus, hurt Barry far more than that of Lucrezia since he had always expected that though not on the scale that she had done so. 

He gently drew his hand through the child's long golden hair watching them sleep and wondering if theirs would darken with age as his own had. No he could not distract himself. He had to make a choice and that choice had to be made before they got anywhere with people nosy enough to ask about the child travelling with him. Insisting that he didn't know if they were a boy or a girl would draw exactly the kind of attention they could not afford. 

Things were hard for girls and in all honesty he didn't really know what kinds of things a girl would need to be taught, on top of all the things he would teach a boy. However trying to raise a boy like him out in the world would be hard and risky; they would have to keep it a secret from everyone and even a single time found out would put them at risk. 

He tried listing the pros and cons of each in his mind.

Raising Him a Boy

Pros  
Barry knew what kind things he would need growing up.  
Boys had it easier in the world.  
It had worked just fine for Barry and centuries of Heterodynes before him.  
The Geisterdamen were looking for a girl.

Cons  
He would have a secret he would have to keep his whole life long.  
If the secret came out before things were safe, HaHa safer then, they would potentially be hurt or chased from wherever they were.  
If the secret came out it would be something newsworthy something that the Geisterdamen might hear of and search for.  
And without the support of Mechanicsburg raising him a boy might not just work the way it had inside Mechanicsburg. 

Raising Her a Girl

Pros  
Her name was Agatha, the name her father had given her.  
She wouldn't have a secret that would never stop being a secret.  
Puberty would be much simpler without needing to bind.  
Losing access to testosterone wouldn't be something she would always have to fear.  
She would be able to openly carry her children when the time came.  
If she grew up to like boys or even boys and girls things would be much simpler as a girl.  
He would be able to leave her with a family if he could find people he could trust that much.

Cons  
He might be a boy anyway.  
The Geisterdamen were looking for a girl.  
He didn't know how to raise a girl.

There were more pros and fewer cons on the side of raising her as a girl.  
Well that decided things didn't it he was going to raise his little niece Agatha.  
Hopefully she would have an easier life because of this choice than he had.

*******

Many many years later he would regret both this decision and the decision not to explain what he had chosen and why to Adam and Lilith but that's another story entirely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter of this fic but the start of a whole series. The rest will come much more slowly as I hope to clean it up to a much better quality and because they will diverge from canon in a way this didn't.
> 
> I am so damn proud of myself for this! 
> 
> I'm still searching for a Beta for the next fic, and a few others I have in the works as well.


End file.
